The Text:

Mr. Jones, of the Manor Farm, had locked the hen-houses for the night, but
was too drunk to remember to shut the pop-holes. With the ring of light
from his lantern dancing from side to side, he lurched across the yard,
kicked off his boots at the back door, drew himself a last glass of beer
from the barrel in the scullery, and made his way up to bed, where
Mrs. Jones was already snoring.

As soon as the light in the bedroom went out there was a stirring and a
fluttering all through the farm buildings. Word had gone round during the
day that old Major, the prize Middle White boar, had had a strange dream
on the previous night and wished to communicate it to the other animals.
It had been agreed that they should all meet in the big barn as soon as
Mr. Jones was safely out of the way. Old Major (so he was always called,
though the name under which he had been exhibited was Willingdon Beauty)
was so highly regarded on the farm that everyone was quite ready to lose
an hour’s sleep in order to hear what he had to say.

My Version:

“he’s asleep, lets go” I heard faintly a call in the distance but me and my brain were both too tired to take in this information. I have worked to long and hard and I feel I have deserved my rest. So there I was, laying in my hay unaware of my surronunndering what dawn would bring whilst slowly drifting of to sleep.What I would have to do for Mr.Jones? How much food will I get? How much food would everyone get? And as these questions raced through my mind my brain and I had finally worked together to understand what was happening around me.

Summary:

I think the way I have written this piece would leave viewer that have read Animal Farm a little confused on which character I am writing about. I think this is good because it would draw the reader’s attention and give me a building block to write on.